It is pouring and cold winter day here in Japan. My family is out working. I am here alone packing for tomorrow. Finally, it is a time again. I am leaving here tomorrow morning. I longed to leave here but when the opportunity arose, my heart got weakened. Leaving requires energy. It is the hardest thing to do no matter what is that for.
I initially thought I be staying at my family home for 3 weeks. I ended up here for 4 months and 2 days. I felt the time was much longer. Although I dreamed to depart from here, once the opportunity came I procrastinated and looked for an excuse to extend my stay. I originally thought I be gone by Saturday, I instantly changed to Sunday. Then, additional 2 days were given unexpectedly. I was happy to gain the time as I can be with my family whole weekend. My mom wasn’t as she seems sad.
My mother is semi-retired. So her work schedule is various. Until last week, she was at home. We spent good 4 months together. She treated me like a little kid. It made my life difficult and lost courage. But, how amazing for a grow-up in my age to spend this much time with own mother..? I think I paid a lot in order to do this though it is definitely Him that coordinated and planned everything out of His love. Yet, there is no ‘good time’ to leave no matter how long I stay or for what the reason, especially for family.
We have a small child at home. She will be singing, dancing and marching around the house even if my mom wants to have a time to miss me. The little girl will be demanding my mom’s labor and attention no matter what in her mind. Life with this joyful little monster, her time will fly away fast. Soon, Christmas to celebrate and new year to welcome. Then, surely I am coming back again though it may not allow me to stay long.
This is my home though nothing to show off about when I talk to others about where I am from. But it is a warm place. This is the only place where my family lives and welcomes me back any time. This is my home where I will be coming back. I have this place in my heart so I can be strong when I am away.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. — Matthew 16:24